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| Chinnekooteey. | ||
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| Author | Post | ||
| maxyfun |
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 Registered Member #57 Joined: Tue Mar 25 2008, 01:49PMPosts: 442 | Dear Doctor, I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are numerous, and after being married for 7 years and having seven children, I have concluded that contraceptives are useless. After getting married, I was advised to use the Rythm Method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured myself doing the Cha Cha Cha. A doctor suggested using the ?Safe period? : At the time we were living with in-laws and had to wait for 3 weeks for a safe period when the house was empty. Needless to say, this did not work. A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love while breastfeeding we would be all right. It is hardly Newcastle Brown Ale, but I did finish up with clear skin, silky hair and felt very healthy, and my wife was pregnant. Another old wives tale we heard was that if my wife jumped up and down after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. After constant breastfeeding, including my earlier attempts, if my wife jumped up and down she would finish up with two black eyes and eventually knock herself unconscious. I asked a chemist about the Sheath. The chemist demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which does not really surprise me, as I fail to see how a sheath stretched over the thumb (as the chemist showed us), can prevent babies. She was supplied with the Coil, and after several unsuccessful attempts to fit it, we realised we had got a left hand thread and my wife is definitely a right hand screw. The Dutch Cap came next. We were very hopeful of this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all, but alas it gave my wife severe headaches. We were given the largest size available, but it was still too tight across her forehead. Finally we tried the Pill. At first, it kept falling out, and then we realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started putting it between her knees thus preventing me getting anywhere near her. This worked for a while until the night she forgot the Pill. You must appreciate my problem. If this operation is unsuccessful, I will have to revert to oral sex, although just talking about it can never substitute for the real thing. Yours faithfully, Chinnekooteey.  A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min. A beer shortens your life by 4 min ... A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!! | ||
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